Joke: The optimist sees the glass half full

The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

Definition: “Is the glass half empty or half full?” is a common expression, a proverbial phrase, generally used rhetorically to indicate that a particular situation could be a cause for optimism (half full) or pessimism (half empty), or as a general litmus test to simply determine an individual’s worldview.

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April fool day – No more secrets!

New mind-reading machine can translate your thoughts and display them as text INSTANTLY

Scientists have developed an astonishing mind-reading machine which can translate what you are thinking and instantly display it as text.

They claim that it has an accuracy rate of 90 per cent or more and say that it works by interpreting consonants and vowels in our brains.

The researchers believe that the machine could one day help patients who suffer from conditions that don’t allow them to speak or move.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5565179/Mind-reading-machine-translate-thoughts-display-text.html#ixzz5BMQjEERx
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Joke: Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Time flies like an arrow.
Time flies like an arrow
Definition: fly (verb) – to move through the air or through outer space.
Like (preposition) – having the same characteristics or qualities as; similar to.

Fruit flies like a banana.
Fruit flies like a banana
Definition: Drosophila melanogaster is a species of fly (the taxonomic order Diptera) in the family Drosophilidae. The species is known generally as the common fruit fly or vinegar fly.
Like (verb) – to feel attraction toward or take pleasure in.

Puns are jokes that use words that have different possible meanings or words that sound alike but have different meanings (called homophones).
In order to understand the joke, you need to be aware of both of the meanings that the word(s) can have.

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Joke: How do trees access the internet?

How do trees access the internet?
They log on.

How do trees access the internet?

Definition: log
a part of the trunk or a large branch of a tree that has fallen or been cut off.

Puns are jokes that use words that have different possible meanings or words that sound alike but have different meanings (called homophones).
In order to understand the joke, you need to be aware of both of the meanings that the word(s) can have.

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Joke: Why don’t programmers like nature?

Why don’t programmers like nature?
It has too many bugs.

Definition: A software bug is an error, flaw, failure or fault in a computer program or system that causes it to produce an incorrect or unexpected result, or to behave in unintended ways.

Puns are jokes that use words that have different possible meanings or words that sound alike but have different meanings (called homophones).
In order to understand the joke, you need to be aware of both of the meanings that the word(s) can have.

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Joke: What is the best thing about living in Switzerland?

What is the best thing about living in Switzerland?
Well, the flag is a big plus.

big plus

Definition: big plus
something that is an advantage

Puns are jokes that use words that have different possible meanings or words that sound alike but have different meanings (called homophones).
In order to understand the joke, you need to be aware of both of the meanings that the word(s) can have.

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