Question: How many letters are there in the English alphabet?
Answer: 18 letters! 3 in “the”, 7 in “English”, and 8 in “alphabet”.
Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
Customer: Waiter, what do you call this soup?
Waiter: It’s bean soup, sir.
Customer: I don’t care what it’s been. What is it now?
Bean (noun) = a common vegetable
To call (verb) = to name
Soup = cooked food in a liquid form
Been = Past participle of the verb To Be
Where is the catch?
Been (past participle of To Be) is pronounced the same as bean (the vegetable). The customer thinks the waiter is using the present perfect tense and saying, “It’s (It has) been soup”. In other words, it was soup in the past, but it is something different now. The customer wants to know what it is in the present tense. Really the waiter is saying however, is that “It is bean soup”.